Musicians: Publish a fucking address already

You've probably heard that joke about the difference between a musician and a large pizza, where the answer is that the large pizza feeds a family of three.  There should be another joke which points out that substantial amounts of coin have been traded for pizza, and not for music.

You see, nobody is the least bit surprised that musicians are total idiots when it comes to finances.  It's almost as if a trader should watch some musicians, see the financial decisions they are making, and then do the opposite.  Well in this case the trader would hold onto a few bitcoins, because musicians have by large totally missed the boat on this one.

As always, there is a cacophonous chorus of people and companies eager to jump right in and "save" the musicians, taking their usual 90% cut (minimum).  Witness this article from billboard.com, a name well known for pushing the worst music available and facilitating the wholesale ripping off of musicians.  Here's a choice quote:

In the future if an artist creates a song, it is forever stored in the blockchain via a unique ID. If even one note of that song was to be changed, a new ID would be created, so even remixes, dub plates and flips would be instantly recognizable. Money won't land in one big pot as a flat-charge to be paid out pro-rata, but distributed instantly and proportionately to each rights holder.

Bwahahaha!  If an artist creates a song, for example the sound of me laughing into my tea just now, which could be recorded in high definition audio, *it is forever stored*  in "the blockchain".  Riiigggghtttt...  Funny enough for you yet?  Well get a load of this: the money will be distributed instantly and proportionately to each "rights holder".  Got it?  Not people paying who they intend to pay, not people receiving what they charge, but money "redistributed" to "rights holders".  In this case, maybe that's the tea leaf picker?  Hey rights holders, can I see your rights just for fun?  Is that a private key you are holding onto there to prove your rights by any chance?  Hey redistributors, any of you keen on dwarves?

Anyway, the point of this piece isn't just to roast yet another dumbass eager to kiss the ass of those who claim to have profited from the work of musicians. "Rocknerd" did this well for us already. I'd also like to actually inform any musicians listening how they could get paid.  You know, as if having money made a difference to you.  Well, for those who care, here's how:

Publish a fucking bitcoin address already!

It's really that easy.  You authenticate a bitcoin address as yours, that is, by making a video of the well known parts of you stating the address clearly or putting it on your website, and we - your listeners from any corner of the globe - send you money.  You - receive all the money we send with no exception.  End of story. Notice there is not a "company" or "innovative remittance network" involved here. That's kinda the point here remember?

If you have the kind of operation where so-and-so handles the money, then get so-and-so to give you a bitcoin address so you can announce it clearly in your own voice.

Imagine for a second that you see a great street juggler.  He deserves a token of your appreciation.  However instead of putting a hat out, he puts a sign up:

Thanks for your support!  Please drive to E.Bumfuck, Ontario on Tuesday between 2 and 3 pm to make a donation, where we accept Disneyland Tickets or Hershey Park rain-date vouchers.

That's what you are doing now with your current policy to internet residents:  get monopoly funbux, get crapple malware, get credit cardz, pay itoonz.  How about, put your hat out also just in case?

Note: I am not suggesting you stop your current arrangements.  Only, that you spend a few seconds to say: Oh yeah, if any of my listeners are rich enough to hold unforgeable money, please send a token of your appreciation to 1myAddressHere8617abcd.

Asking for tips is not a crime.  If you never ask, you won't get any.  Publish or perish.

And don't expect miracles.  If nobody listens to your music, why would you get any tips?